Do you ever feel like all the odds are against you when it comes to finding a man? And how do you know if you have found an emotionally available man?

It can be hard enough sometimes to even find eligible men to date in the first place… but getting yourself a guy who wants to take things to a more serious level?

I know how it goes. Some days it can feel like a completely impossible task.

So how do you pick out the true keepers from those guys who aren’t ready for anything more than a good time?

It all comes down to a man’s emotional availability. And that’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about today.

Emotional availability basically refers to a man’s ability to maintain an emotional bond with you. It means being in tune with their emotions, and able to genuinely connect with you and commit to you on an emotional level.

I know the general definition can seem vague, so let’s get even more specific.

How do you tell if you’ve found an emotionally available man:

1. He’s happy to talk.

Obviously not everyone wants to talk all the time. Sometimes a guy needs space or silence. But an emotionally available man will understand that talking with you is an important part of the relationship and can help you grow closer together. You can test the waters with him by initiating deeper conversations from time to time. Talk about your dreams, your fears, and your life goals, and watch how he responds. (For more tips on how to talk to a guy, click here!)

2. He’s curious about you.

An emotionally available man will be interested in you! He will ask you lots of questions, intently listen to your answers, and remember what you said. He will plan dates around activities that you enjoy, and want to learn more about the way you spend your time and things that you love. Obviously this should be two sided, and you will also want to reciprocate this energy about his life and the things that he loves. But if you find that everything is always centered around him, that’s a sign that he isn’t ready for a relationship with you.

3. He shares his feelings.

Again, not every guy is going to be perfect at this, so be patient. You may need to initiate these types of interactions by sharing your feelings first, then inviting him to follow. But an emotionally available man should be able to articulate his needs and difficult feelings with you, and trust you to be open and encouraging. (You can read my article, “What Men Need to Feel Loved”, for some ideas on how you can show him you’ve got his back.)

4. He has a support system.

If a man already has people in his circle that he turns to when he is slipping, this is a strong sign that he is aware of his feelings and struggles and knows how to deal with them. Maybe he has a “guy tribe”, several quality male friendships, or strong family relationships. Encourage him to nurture these and continue to lean on them as needed.

5. He’s honest.

An emotionally available man shouldn’t have things to hide from you. He will know how to admit when he’s made a mistake, and to have challenging conversations with those around him. He is worthy of your trust, and fights to keep it.

6. He is able to have a mature argument.

Yes, there is a way to argue in a mature way! Conflict happens in all partnerships, and the key is being able to work through this conflict in an effective way. When you are talking through disagreements, he should be able to work with you in a collaborative way to try and solve the issue, rather than competing for the upper hand.

If you are able to use these clues to identify a man’s emotional availability early on, you will be able to better qualify him and decide whether or not he is ready for something more.

And if you read these tips and thought… “Am I emotionally available? Or, “Wow, there are a couple of things in here I could work on myself as well!”…

Well, honestly that’s amazing!

That self-awareness is the key to working on yourself and becoming a better person.

Whether you are dating, in a relationship, or single, there are constantly opportunities to work on yourself and heal. If both you and your partner are able to be emotionally vulnerable together and own the parts of yourself that you are still working on, you will be able to grow and use your relationship as a container for deeper healing.

So, are you ready to stop wasting time with emotionally unavailable guys, attract the ones who are ready to share all of themselves, and take that journey with you? Want to talk more about this? Book a Let’s Talk Love call with me!