Have you ever had a guy tell you, “I don’t know what I want”?
Women HATE to hear those six little words from someone they are dating!
So how do you not lose your composure (and, sometimes, hope too) when you hear a guy tell you “I don’t know what I want”?
Those words leave you completely in the dark, insecure and with no clue what is ACTUALLY going on in his mind. You’re left with your head spinning and wondering what you are supposed to do from here.
It’s kind of the worst. If you’ve experienced this, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
In these cases, him just ending things might feel better because at least you would KNOW. You know?
Today I want to share with you HOW to respond in these types of situations so that you feel confident and composed instead of emotional or at a loss for words.
Option #1: Tell me more…
If you feel a genuine connection with him, give him the space to further explain his feelings. It’s likely he is being completely honest when he says he doesn’t know what he wants!
Sometimes there are things going on in his life that are making things complicated for him. Or he has some triggers coming up that he doesn’t know how to handle. “Tell me more…” invites him to share what is really going on, and will give you a chance to build trust with him. Be sure to ask and then give him the space to answer, without filling the silence with your own thoughts until he responds.
Option #2: Let’s Take Things Slow…
Everyone has different timing when it comes to relationships. Slowing things down allows you to see if his actions match his words. If you really like him, it’s worth investing more time so that you can get to know each other better, develop a closer connection and figure out if he is someone you want to commit to further.
Even if you are ready to commit after 3 weeks, it might take him 3 months. If he’s a high-quality guy, it’s worth the wait.
However, if it’s been a lot longer than that and he is still telling you he doesn’t know what he wants…then it might be time to consider option 3.
Option #3: It’s over.
The sad truth is, some guys out there are just manipulative and selfish. All they want is sex, sex, and more sex. They aren’t looking for commitment. Some guys out there are only thinking of themselves and looking for ways to get their needs met without the consideration of someone else’s feelings
His intention may be to only have sex or just have you around so that he isn’t bored or lonely. He’s not looking for commitment. The more you ask where things are going the more pressure it puts him under.
If you feel like the guy you’re dating is lying through his teeth or not being honest with you, then there’s only one response worth your time.
Then walk away.
Trust your gut and intuition
Especially if you’ve been dating for a while and gave your heart to him, with little commitment in return, that’s a red flag. Time to break ties and create space in your life for a man who is looking for the kind of real, deep connection and commitment you are looking for.
This isn’t always easy, I get it, especially when you’ve invested emotions, time and energy. It’s hard to want to say it’s over when you see a potential future with him.
However, you can’t convince him to want what you want, even if you think the two of you would be great together.
Walking away communicates to him and yourself that you are committed to your desire to have a relationship with someone who sees your value and wants to be with you fully. This bold move shows you are confident in yourself and believe that you will have what you want. With him or without him.
You’ve got this!
I hope this has helped you understand men a little bit better, and helped you feel more emotionally prepared when he tells you he doesn’t know what he is looking for.
If you’re still sitting there thinking, “Nicole, men are just so complicated! I really want to understand them better so I can attract and create more fulfilling relationships” then I encourage you to download my “Men Wish You Knew This” free guide.
This guide is designed to help you stop second-guessing how your man is feeling or decode mixed signals of someone you are interested in dating potentially.
If your situation feels unique or you’d like some specific tips and insight on what to do then I’d recommend scheduling a free one-on-one “Let’s Talk Love” call to dive deep into what is holding you back from the authentic love you are craving.
How To Respond When A Guy Doesn’t “Know What He Wants”
Apr 23, 2019