Are you stuck in a relationship rut? Are things progressing more slowly than you would like with the guy you’re dating?
Navigating the world of dating and commitment can be tricky, especially when it seems like you might be unintentionally pushing guys away. Here are two common mistakes I see my clients make without realizing it:
Avoid Getting Stuck in a Relationship Rut
Mistake #1: Unintentionally Chasing Him
When we start stressing about where we stand with a guy, it’s totally normal to worry that if we don’t make our interest clear, he’ll think we’re not into him. Or even worse, lose interest in us.
So, what do we do? We end up going into overdrive, trying to show him just how interested we are. The problem is, sometimes the things we do to show our interest end up turning him off without us even realizing it!
We feel the urge to go the extra mile, to really show him we care. So, we start doing stuff like:
- Checking in with him all the time
- Sending those flirty texts
- Going out of our way to make things convenient for him
- Cooking his favorite meals
- Reaching out when we haven’t heard from him
- Liking and commenting on all his social media posts
- Taking the lead in making plans
- Asking him how he’s feeling, especially about you and the relationship
It all comes from a good place. We want him to see how awesome we are, right? But here’s the thing – without even realizing it, we end up taking on the role of the pursuer, which can push him into the role of the distancer.
To him, all this initiating can feel like pressure. It can make him less eager to get closer, and he might not even know why he’s feeling that way.
Suddenly, he’s not calling as much, or he’s saying he’s confused about what he wants. It’s like the vibe has changed, and he’s not feeling it like he used to.
Mistake #2: Relationship Talk
When we, as women, open up and have those heart-to-heart talks, it’s our way of bonding and feeling closer. But for guys, it’s a different story. It can feel like we’re coming on too strong, or chasing after them.
The more we bring up the relationship, the more it makes him want to take a step back. And guess what? That just makes us want to close the gap even more, ASAP.
Here’s the deal – you don’t have to constantly dissect the relationship. The less you bring it up, the smoother things tend to go! I know that is easier said than done. Knowing how to manage your emotions is one of the topics in the Confident in Love program.
We often need a lot of external validation we’re on the same page with the person we’re dating. We can become hypersensitive to any indication that something might be off. Or even find ourselves creating doubt and anxiety in our minds.
Which leads us to want to talk about the relationship or his feelings for us. We can implement tools to help regulate our nervous system, or what I like call S.O.S (soothing of self). We can then approach the situation with more confidence and ease. AND keep the spark of attraction going.
It’s About the Feels, Not the Talks!
To really amp up that attraction and bond, put your focus on crafting those unforgettable moments with him. As many as possible! Men are drawn to how they feel when they are around a woman. At an unconscious level he wants to feel like he is winning at making you feel good. And that you in return appreciate his efforts.
Once you understand what lights that fire under a man, you’ll notice a shift. Suddenly, you’re not stressing over how he feels or what’s going on in his head.
Instead, you’ll feel a stronger sense of happiness, security, and confidence. Why? Because he’ll be drawn to you like a magnet, closing that emotional distance all on his own.
Once you start seeing those amazing results, there’s no going back to the “old” way of doing things! You’ll forget you ever thought you were stuck in a relationship rut to begin with.
If you want to experience this for yourself but are not sure where to start, jump on a Let’s Talk Love call, and I’ll share the exact steps to help you feel confident in your love life and have the relationship you want.
You may also want to check out some of my other blog posts: Getting Attached Too Soon, The Effect of Putting Someone on a Pedestal, and What Men Want From Women.
Are you Stuck in a Relationship Rut?
Jun 21, 2024
ADD A COMMENT
close comments
comments
0