The Effect of Putting Someone on a Pedestal

Have you been guilty of putting someone on a pedestal? (More specifically, someone that you’re dating.) Have you ever found yourself worrying whether you’re good enough for a guy you’re interested in? Maybe you analyze his every text, overthink what you say around him, or secretly worry that he’s out of your league.

Sound familary? You’re not alone.

Many women fall into the trap of putting men on a pedestal, especially when they really like someone. I know I did! For the longest time, I felt like I had to earn a man’s attention. I would overanalyze my texts, try to be “perfect” on dates, and make sure I didn’t do anything to mess it up. (Spoiler: trying to be perfect is exhausting and doesn’t actually work.)

What Happens When You Put a Man on a Pedestal?

When you constantly seek validation from a man, you unknowingly give away your power. It shifts the dating dynamic in a way that puts you in a weaker position. You end up:

Chasing his attention instead of receiving it effortlessly.
Waiting for him to choose you instead of being in the driver’s seat of your love life.
Accepting crumbs instead of experiencing the deep, mutual connection you truly want.

And here’s the kicker…

Men can sense when you lack confidence and power, which actually makes you less attractive to them.

Ouch, right?! That used to be so hard for me to hear. But once I really got it, my entire dating experience changed.

But What If You Flipped the Script? Is He Good Enough for You?

Let’s change the narrative. Instead of wondering if you’re good enough for him, ask yourself: Is he good enough for YOU?

A high-value woman doesn’t spend her time trying to be chosen—she chooses who is worthy of her energy. And let me tell you, that energy shift is magnetic.

Think of it this way: If you were hiring someone for your dream business, would you beg them to work for you? No! You’d have clear standards, ask the right questions, and choose the best fit for you. So why not treat dating the same way?

When you truly own your worth, you:

Naturally exude confidence that is irresistible.
Stop settling for men who breadcrumb you.
Attract high-quality partners who treat you right.

And I know-

It sounds simple, and it can feel daunting to make this shift, but trust me, it’s worth it. When you approach dating with the mindset of knowing your own value, setting boundaries, and not being afraid to walk away from the wrong men, you’ll start attracting the right kind of guy –someone who treats you well, respects you, and loves you for who you are.

4 Questions to Help You Reclaim Your Power in Dating

These are the questions I offer my clients to help them gain personal clarity as they navigate the dating scene. Be as honest as you can with yourself…

How does this person make me feel about myself?
- Do they lift me up and make me feel confident and valued, or do they bring me down and make me question my worth?
Are our values and goals aligned?
- Do we share similar beliefs, interests, and visions for the future?
- Attraction is great, but if your core values don’t align, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
How do they communicate with me?
- Do they listen actively, communicate openly and honestly, and respect my thoughts and feelings?
- Or do I feel like I have to decode their texts, chase their attention, or earn their affection
Can I be my authentic self around them?
- Do I feel comfortable and accepted for who I truly am, without having to pretend or change to fit their expectations?
- Or do I feel like I have to “perform” to keep their interest?

If you found yourself cringing at some of your answers, don’t worry—this is your wake-up call to shift your approach.

Take Back Your Power & Attract the Right Man

It’s time to stop chasing men who don’t meet your standards and start attracting men who do.

When you stop over-giving and start receiving, the right man will step up. When you know your value, you won’t tolerate anything less than respect, effort, and consistency. And when you embrace your worth, you naturally attract the kind of love you deserve.

So, let me ask you: Are you ready to take back your power and start attracting the right kind of man into your life?

If you’re done playing small in dating and ready to step into your highest self—let’s talk! In a Let’s Talk Love Call, we’ll uncover what’s been holding you back and map out a plan to attract the kind of man who sees your worth without you having to prove it.

It’s time to stop wondering if you’re good enough for him… and start making sure he’s good enough for you.

You may enjoy some of my other blog posts: Stop Settling for Less, Emotional Connection with a Man, and Improve your Communication with Men.