Some advice I give to many of my clients: stop settling for less! Fear of rejection, fear of vulnerability, fear of being alone paralyze us and prevent us from expressing our needs and desires in a relationship. We settle for less than we deserve because we fear rocking the boat and potentially losing the person we care about.

But here’s the thing… Stop settling for less. It will always lead to disappointment and heartache.

When we don’t communicate our expectations and settle for less than we desire, we set ourselves up for failure. We can’t expect the other person to read our minds or magically change their behavior if we don’t speak up.

So, how do we break this cycle of disappointment?

First and foremost, we need to work on our self-confidence. We need to believe that we deserve a partner who respects and values us. This means recognizing our own worth and not settling for someone who doesn’t prioritize our needs.

When we are confident in ourselves, we are more likely to express our expectations and advocate for what we want.

What not settling for less looks like:

My client, Sarah (name changed), is a successful career-oriented woman in her late 30s. Sarah has been dating John for six months and has been avoiding having a serious conversation about their future.

Through our coaching, sessions Sarah came to the conclusion that she was unsatisfied with how the relationship was progressing.

She feared that expressing her desire for a committed relationship would scare him away. She settled for casual dates and avoided discussing her expectations, hoping that he would eventually come around.

Throughout the sessions Sarah realized she had been sacrificing her own needs for the sake of keeping John in her life. She began to understand why she was so afraid of communicating what she wanted. She saw how the pattern of staying quiet was holding her back from having the type of relationship she wanted.

Her belief about what she deserved in love started to shift and her self-confidence increased. She now believes that she deserves a partner who is on the same page as her and values her.

For the first time, Sarah is willing to express herself and not hold back just because it feels uncomfortable. She is so committed to her own needs and desires that she is willing to rock the boat with John. Sarah’s new belief in herself allowed her to be vulnerable and open with John without worrying about the outcome.

This left her feeling more confident about being able to ask for and have the kind of relationship she desires.

Many of the women who come to work with me know that they need to set boundaries or have a pretty good idea of what they want in a partnership.

But, when it comes to communicating on a date or in their new relationship, they struggle. It can be incredibly uncomfortable to share what we are feeling or even believe that what we want is reasonable.

If you have held back from saying what you feel then I encourage you to schedule a Let’s Talk Love call. It’s time to stop settling for less.

During this complimentary call I’ll share practical tools and insights to help you shift your beliefs about love. I will also provide you with the exacts steps to move you towards having the relationship you want.

You can also check out some other blog posts of mine that may give you further insight. How to Know When You Meet the Right Man, Affirmations for Self Acceptance, and How to Deal with Overwhelming Emotions while Dating.