Many people don’t actually know what men want from women. Someone who looks after them? Someone they look after? The truth is, men are actually “production junkies.” They thrive on the feeling of using up all their energy to produce something. It’s like an addiction for them, they can’t get enough of it.

Women, on the other hand, have a different approach. We have a cap on how much we want to produce in a certain amount of time. We then need a break to recharge, otherwise we’ll burn out. For men it’s not the same. They have an insatiable desire to keep producing and they feel good when their energy is being used up.

Here’s the thing though, what men really want is to make YOU happy.

What Men Want From Women:

Men love playing the role of provider and producer, even in small ways. They are addicted to fixing things and solving problems. And the biggest desire for them is to be with a woman who allows them to do things for her. A woman who is able to receive what they have to give.

This is important for us to be aware of. We need to allow men to fully embrace that role and be that kind of man for us. We don’t unintentionally want to take away their favorite role! Because when we start taking over some of those responsibilities, we unintentionally push them away on a deep, unconscious level.

I think one of the reasons why so many women, including myself, feel burnt out is because we’re constantly doing and doing. We’re going against what comes most natural to us, which is receiving. Production is the opposite of receiving. And many women end up taking on a lot of the masculine “doing” energy in the relationship. This can lead to underlying resentment. And let’s be honest, resentment is not the easiest thing to let go of.

Men often won’t know if you’re over-functioning or doing more than what feels good to you. They assume that if you’re doing something, it’s because you want to do it.
Men do what they want to do all the time, so they think we do too. We worry that if we allow someone else to do something or us, they might see us as weak. That’s why so many women are afraid to let go of the doing and ask for help.

Learning to Let Go

There have been numerous conversations over the years in which I’ve heard my partner say, “Why don’t you lean into me and let go? You can be feisty (proving that you can do it all) to everyone else, but you don’t have to be that way with me.” There was part of me that felt incredibly uncomfortable letting go of control. Even though I know this stuff and teach it, I had to practice being uncomfortable and expressing my needs. I had to learn to trust that this vulnerability would actually create a deeper connection in my relationship.

What helped me start letting go and leaning into my relationship was knowing that acknowledgment and appreciation energize men. My holding back and doing everything prevented my partner from feeling good. Men want to support us and know that what they do makes us happy.
So, if you let a man know what feels good to you through acknowledgment, the right man will be more than happy to do it.

In any relationship, it takes time to build trust that this person will show up for you. But a man can’t show up for you if you don’t let him.

Now, this is not about turning a man into some sort of robot whose only purpose is to serve you. It’s about letting a man know all the things he does that make you happy and showing appreciation for him.

Here’s a little secret: men can’t fall in love when we’re constantly giving to them or trying to control everything.

They fall in love when they’re giving to us. It’s when you demonstrate that you can allow a man to play his favorite role of provider that he feels the most connected to you.

So, if you want to be the most attractive woman in the world to a man, allow him to play that role. Trust me, men will flock to you when you learn how to do this. Give it a try and see what happens.

Are you ready to build a deep attraction with a man who wants to show up powerfully for you? Book a Let’s Talk Love call where I will share practical ways to create a deep, lasting relationship.

You may also be interested in some of my other blog posts: Improve Your Communication with Men, Emotional Connection with a Man, and How to Know When You Meet the Right Man.