Why men pull away in relationships can be a convoluted answer. I work with many women who are in relationships and are unsure where they stand in them. They’re hurting because of problems that have come between them and the one they love. Many come to me facing the tough decision of whether to stay or leave.
This is a challenging and potentially heartbreaking decision that many of us face more than once in life. But here’s the thing—it may not have to come to that.
Why Do Men Pull Away in Relationships?
A client of mine—we’ll call her Alicia—was separated from her husband, yet they were still living together with their small child. Stuck in this limbo for months, Alicia wanted to save her marriage but didn’t know how.
She consumed relationship advice—watching videos, listening to lectures, and even hiring me to help her find clarity.
During their emotional and romantic separation, Alicia had been trying to give her husband space. She realized that her past behaviors in the relationship may have pushed him away.

What Happens When You Keep One Foot Out the Door?
When Alicia first came to me, she was clear: she either wanted to save her marriage or move on. She couldn’t stay stuck any longer.
As we explored her relationship deeper, we discovered a pattern—throughout her marriage, Alicia kept “one foot out the door.” Whenever she felt emotionally triggered, she withdrew or became defensive.
Why? Because she feared that being vulnerable meant being a doormat.
This fear of fully committing and opening up was unintentionally pushing her husband away. Every time they got close, they’d take two steps forward and one giant step back. Ever felt this way?
How Alicia’s Shift Made Him Want to Show Up
Recognizing this pattern was eye-opening for Alicia. She realized she needed to improve communication, build emotional connection, and learn to be vulnerable without fear.
Within one week of working together and implementing new strategies, her husband’s behavior dramatically changed:
- He started showing up more for her and their child.
- He asked to spend more time together.
- He made her breakfast.
- He took their baby for walks so she could rest.
Alicia shifted into receiving mode—something she hadn’t done much in her marriage before. And not only did she receive, but she appreciated his efforts in a way that made him feel needed, respected, and important.
The last time we spoke, she shared that they had even started kissing again. The future wasn’t crystal clear yet, but for the first time in months, she felt hopeful.
Why Did Her Husband Come Back?
Alicia’s husband had a shift in behavior because she started giving him what most men deeply crave in a relationship:
- He felt safe with her.
- He felt approved of and appreciated.
- He felt like she wanted to be with him.
- He felt like he could make her happy—and he was making her happy.
These emotional shifts made a world of difference.
Are You Ready to Change Your Love Life?
In my experience, many women give up on good relationships too soon—not because the connection is gone, but because they don’t know how to navigate emotional triggers and reconnect.
If you’re ready for a fresh start in your relationship (or your dating life), let’s talk.
I offer a complimentary “Let’s Talk Love” session—a 30-minute call where we’ll get real about what’s happening in your love life and create a plan to move forward with clarity and confidence.
📅 Spaces fill quickly—grab your spot now.
👉 Click here to book your call.
Or you can check out some of my other blog posts: Being Yourself While Dating, Turn Relationship Conflict into Connection, Building a Deeper Connection with a Man.
Why Men Pull Away in Relationships
Jan 11, 2021
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