Being yourself while dating…. It sounds a bit daunting.

Imagine this: you’re standing at the edge of a calm, serene lake, watching as gentle ripples stretch across the water’s surface under the setting sun.

There’s a feeling of pure peace and quiet strength in the air—a reflection of the love we all crave. Deep down, it’s that type of love we long for—a love that flows naturally, touching the deepest parts of who we are.

But if you’re like so many high-achieving, accomplished women, you might be wondering:

“Why can’t I seem to get it right in my love life?”

Trust me, I remember being there too. I’d start each new connection with excitement and hope that maybe this time it would be different… only to watch it unravel into confusion or slowly drift into silence.

It took time (and a lot of frustration) to realize something that changed everything: I was holding onto past hurt, shielding myself with layers I thought kept me safe. I thought I was being open, but I was actually wearing a mask that kept me from truly connecting.

Here’s what I’ve learned: men may not see this mask clearly, but healthy, high-value men can feel it right away. Without even knowing why, they sense that guardedness, and it keeps them from fully connecting.

So, what changed for me? I made a bold choice—not just to do things differently, but to be someone different.

I sought support to release the past hurts and fears that kept me closed off, and I started showing up as my true self. No masks, no half-measures. Just me—strong, loving, and open-hearted. And that’s when everything shifted.

Suddenly, high-quality connections came effortlessly.

If that sounds like an unachievable dream, I get it. And I’ve got you.

Here are a couple of practices that you can use to get started on the transformation that will help you to attract and keep the kind of love you are longing for:

Being yourself while dating

Practice One: Unmasking Your Authentic Self… AKA Get Naked

The next time you’re in a new interaction, practice grounding yourself with this simple tip: slow down and ask yourself, “Am I fully showing up as myself here?” Try to notice where you might be holding back. Are you agreeing just to be agreeable, hesitating to express a thought, or downplaying your needs?

Even one small step toward bringing more of yourself into a conversation can be powerful. For instance, instead of responding with a safe answer, try sharing a little more openly—even if it feels slightly vulnerable. This shows others who you truly are and opens the door to genuine connection.

Practice Two: Letting Go of ‘Perfect’ Outcomes

Sometimes, we hold onto a picture-perfect outcome and find ourselves disappointed when things don’t go as planned. But here’s a little secret: healthy relationships are built on shared growth and exploration, not perfection. The next time you start feeling that anxious need for things to go a certain way, try taking a few deep breaths and tell yourself, “I’m open to this unfolding in a way I might not expect.” This small mindset shift creates space for real connection instead of putting pressure on the situation.

Can you picture how freeing that would feel? Showing up without fear or guardedness, meeting people who are drawn to the real you?

If you’re ready to clear away those lingering hurts and open up to the incredible love that’s waiting for you, let’s connect. On our call, we’ll dive deep into where you’re feeling stuck and get real about the shifts that could bring new possibilities into your love life.

Are you ready?

Take that step today. Book a call with me, and let’s unlock the love you deserve.

You may enjoy these other blog posts: What Men Want From Women, The Effect of Putting Someone on a Pedestal, or Getting Attached Too Soon.