As the end of the year inches closer, you may find yourself reflecting on 2022. The things you were able to accomplish, how you’ve changed, all the good times you’re going to miss as the year comes to a close…
And you also might be feeling a little lonely at being single during the holiday season or even remorse for not being able to find a man this year.
I’m familiar with the feeling myself, and I’ve been talking about it all month with my clients as well. It’s on the mind for sure.
So I wanted to spend some time on this subject today, provide some useful ways to navigate a lonely holiday season, and offer some advice.
1. Embrace being single.
There is a LOT to enjoy about being single, even during this time of year. You have the opportunity to be self-indulgent with how you want to spend your time and energy. You don’t have to compromise or settle on doing what someone else wants, you can do exactly what feels good for you! Including treating yourself and buying that item you’ve been eyeing all year or lying in bed with your favorite book. Treat yourself and live it up!
2. Don’t fall into the social media trap.
We all know social media is fake af, but when you’re scrolling past all those engagements, Christmas vacations, weddings, etc… It can feel way too real, and completely unfair. Remind yourself that those are just snippets of the whole story. Ask yourself what makes you feel good and choose that. It might be staying off social media completely until after the holidays.
3. Celebrate in your own way.
If you want to participate in your family Christmas traditions like you’ve done years before, go for it. But you can also take the opportunity to make it your own! Throw a party and invite your single friends, drive to a different state and explore somewhere new, or have a Christmas movie classics marathon.
My favorite solo tradition—which I actually haven’t given up even now being in a relationship—is sipping on coffee with Baileys Christmas morning in bed and writing in my journal about all the things I’m proud of. (If you haven’t heard my story, you can here.) One of my client’s Xmas Eve tradition is making a cheese fondu even if none of her friends can join her. Another client makes a big breakfast with her favourite items, pancakes or waffles on Xmas morning. You do you this season!
4. What to say when people ask if you’re single.
Some very simple answers I like to share with clients are “I just am,” and “I’m not interested in anyone at the moment.” But if you’re really not feeling it, just tell them that it’s personal and change the subject! You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.
5. Do something for others.
Sometimes the only way to get over ourselves is to stop thinking about ourselves! Christmas is a hard time for a lot of people, and there are so many ways to do something special for someone else. It’ll take your mind off things, and it feels good to help out.
6. What’s another year?
A year may feel like a long time, but it’s really nothing. It flies by so fast. Why does it matter if you’ve been single for another year? When you find your man, this time of your life will feel like a blip in the grand scheme of things.
7. You are surrounded by love.
Maybe you don’t have romantic love, but there is love all around you. In fact, if you’d had a partner, you might have missed out on some of the connections you made this year. Find those people who make you feel loved, and tell them how much you appreciate their friendship.
8. You are not defined by a relationship.
Being in a relationship is great, but it isn’t everything. It doesn’t define you, and it doesn’t make you more worthy. You weren’t born to be just a girlfriend or a wife, you have so many other things to offer the world! Don’t get hung up just trying to find a man – use this time to tap into your feminine energy.
9. The feeling will pass.
Even after all of your efforts to the contrary, you might still feel sad and lonely. And that is okay. Just remember that it won’t be forever. The holidays will end, and this feeling will pass. Ride it out, and let it go. (A little chocolate never hurt anyone, either).
The holidays aren’t always the winter wonderland you wish they’d be. But there is still so much to celebrate and be thankful for.
So whether you need to take a step back and let the hot cocoa cool a bit, or grab that tinsel and deck the halls a little extra this year… make sure you take some time for yourself and your needs this season.
P.S. If you still haven’t settled on something to give yourself this year, let me play Santa and gift you some specific tips and practical insights into your love life. Click here to see my client calendar, and book a call with me! I would love to chat.
Navigating A Lonely Holiday Season
Dec 21, 2022