I want to talk to you about something the younger generation calls “trauma dumping”.
You may have experienced this, or even done it unknowingly, in the early stages of dating someone.
What is trauma dumping?
Trauma dumping is when someone unloads a lot of their trauma on you – in most cases, without warning or prompting. It could be over text or on a date, early in the relationship, or a little later on. This generally brings relief to the sharer, but anxiety and discomfort to the listener.
While there’s certainly a time and a place to talk about hard things we’ve been through, oversharing trauma rapidly before getting to know a person can lead to burnout and a quick end to the relationship. Or, in some cases, unhealthy codependency.
Have you ever experienced this before? Maybe you were chatting with someone on a dating app or during a date and enjoyed that they were communicative and engaging. But within a few days, they start dumping large buckets of their life experiences all over the conversations so that you become a little too aware of their personal life.
Why do people trauma dump?
Trauma dumping/oversharing is a sign that someone has a difficult time processing their feelings and experiences in a healthy way. They tend to have a lot of built up emotions and stress inside, so when they have a listening ear, they unload all of this pent-up energy.
Especially to someone new who has never heard it before, it can feel like an opportunity for them to process their heavy feelings out loud. They may mistake this for emotional vulnerability or emotional intimacy.
What’s the difference between trauma dumping and emotional vulnerability?
Vulnerability is a crucial component of building a relationship with someone. In order to form deep and meaningful connections, we must be open to sharing personal and heartfelt aspects of ourselves.
In emotionally healthy people, this will occur naturally over time. They understand that creating trust and depth in a relationship cannot, and should not, be rushed.
In someone who is emotionally unhealthy, vulnerability is confused with emotional dumping. These people will overshare and go on and on about multiple issues and dilemmas in their life.
As a high-value woman, it is important that you seek out and create space for emotionally healthy men. These men will have the time and energy to nourish a relationship into something wonderful, fulfilling, and meaningful for both parties.
Do you want to learn how to create space for this type of man in your life?
To date effectively, you need to learn how to filter through the prospects quickly and attract men who are looking for the same things you are. You don’t want to waste your time going on dates with men who are going to exhaust you with their self-focused conversations and vampire energy…or you’ll burn out and avoid going on dates all together.
You don’t have to figure it out alone! Jump on a call with me and gain practical insight and tools so that you can skip through all the hogwash online and revolutionize your dating life and future relationships.
HERE is the link to schedule a complimentary 45-min call.
Is Trauma Dumping a Dating Red Flag?
Oct 8, 2022