First date anxiety is NO JOKE. Especially in the modern age of online dating…a first date is often the first time you lay eyes on each other!
After perusing online profiles and messaging someone new, taking the step to meet in person can feel like a huge obstacle to overcome.
A lot of women get lost in the space between talking online and meeting for a first date. They get nervous, insecure, busy, or just decide the time and energy aren’t worth it and bail. Even when it’s something that, deep down, they know they want and need.
If this sounds familiar, I have some great tips for you!
Not only do the following strategies help decrease the pressure of a first date, but they also set you up for the best chance of having a great experience.
And if you and your date don’t end up vibing…no biggie! You can move on and know you tried your best and also put yourself out there in a way that is scary. It’s a win either way.
Let’s dive in.
#1 Short & simple
A first date should always be SHORT and SIMPLE. Coffee dates are an excellent example! You can meet at the coffee shop, grab a drink or snack, chat, and then part ways. If you vibe, you can talk for a while and plan a great second date! If you don’t vibe…you don’t have to be stuck with them for hours and hours. And, at least you got a yummy coffee. Easy peasy!
A few other short and simple first date ideas:
- A walk in a park or interesting part of town
- Smoothie shop
- Ice cream stand
- Food truck event
- Wine tasting
- Meet at a bookstore
#2 Make it a day date
I always suggest planning a first date during the daytime. The energy is different. You’re less likely to end up with someone that just wants a hookup. You can do something simple that isn’t too overwhelming. And it’s easy to plan other things around your date that you can use as an excuse to leave on time.
#3 Dress comfortable and confident
What you wear on a first date can really make an impact on your confidence! Always try to go in clothes that are tried and true to you. Wash your hair and make sure you feel fresh. This is not the time to try anything new that isn’t your normal. No new magnetic lashes, new lipstick, or clothing items that will make you nervous or insecure. Feel clean and beautiful and authentically YOU.
#4 Always choose a public place and drive yourself
Safety first, loves! On a new date, especially with someone you’ve never met before, always choose a public place and drive yourself. This serves several purposes. One, driving yourself feels less stressful than being picked up and having to endure an awkward car ride! Two, you tend to feel more relaxed when there are other people around. Three, driving yourself and being in a public place keep you safe for that first meetup.
#5 Decide how you will deal with anxiety/panic
Those moments just before getting out of your car or walking into a restaurant send some women into full-blown panic. If the date is something you really do want to do, and you know that it’s just your anxiety getting the better of you, have a strategy to help you cope.
One strategy is to ground yourself by focusing on what you can touch, see, and smell at that exact moment. Think to yourself…I feel the steering wheel under my hands. I feel the rough fabric of the seat on the back of my arm. I can see the windshield of my car and the reflecting sunlight. I smell the fries I ate in my car last night.
Whatever works for you…decide beforehand how you will cope with the panic so that you can overcome it.
#6 Choose some good getting-to-know-you questions before your date
A great way to ease your anxiety (and your date’s!) is to have some thoughtful, open-ended questions to get them talking.
A few of my favorites:
- If you had a day to yourself with no obligations, what would you do?
- If you had a million dollars dropped in your bank account tomorrow, how would you use it?
- What inspired you to pursue (hobby/career/interest)?
- What do you think is one of your greatest gifts and greatest weaknesses?
- If you were having a sad day, what would you want your best friend to bring you/leave on your doorstep?
I know first dates can be intimidating. It takes a lot of energy and courage and time to put yourself out there so that you can find meaningful relationships.
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I am opening up a few spots in my upcoming LEAN INTO LOVE group coaching program! This is my MOST popular, client-favorite, radically effective 6-week coaching and self-study program to elevate your dating and relationship game so that you can create space for the love of your life.
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6 Strategies To Beat Dating Anxiety
Nov 15, 2022
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