We’re going to talk about something today that everybody hates but that everybody also deals with at some point in their life…
Love is this strange and powerful thing that requires our vulnerability, but the tricky part about the equation is that offering vulnerability doesn’t always end in love. Through the process of searching for love, we can end up hurt through a series of rejections and end up feeling like we’re doing something wrong.
Not getting the match we wanted on a swipe, not receiving responses on your messages, having great communication with a man who later ghosts, or going on a date that ends up being super fun only to hear later that he didn’t feel a connection… These are all painful stings of rejection.
They can weaken our self-esteem, causing us to wonder what we did wrong — or worse, what’s wrong with us — shaking our confidence and making us less confident about putting ourselves out there again.
If you can relate, then it’s time you redefined rejection as protection.
Our desire for love and connection can blind us to the undeniable fact that not everyone we like on a dating app or over dinner is the best fit for us.
When someone doesn’t respond to your message, rather than seeing that as rejection, try viewing it as a perfectly acceptable difference in opinion. While you were open to him, he simply wasn’t feeling a connection with you. Rather than dragging you along for weeks (if not months), you were protected from wasted time and a difference in preferences.
That doesn’t mean you aren’t valuable, beautiful, and talented.
You are all of these things and more.
It just means you weren’t right for each other.
A lot of women who struggle with self-love and confidence in their authentic selves also struggle with rejection because they see this as a problem with themselves rather than protection against a bad situation or different people being free to have different preferences.
It’s normal for rejection to feel painful. It’s normal to be frustrated when you get ghosted or ignored or when someone you enjoyed doesn’t feel the same in return.
But that doesn’t make you any less wonderful, lovable, and amazing.
Here is a couple of journal prompts to help you get over and redefine rejection:
- What false stories are you creating in response to this rejection?
- What are two positive possible outcomes due to this rejection?
If you’re struggling to get over rejection after a dating knock-back, then it might be time a great time to jump on a complimentary Let’s Talk Love call, where you’ll receive personal insight into your love life and have tangible tools you can apply immediately.
Have you thought about rejection this way?
Jul 21, 2022
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