Do you keep dating guys who make excuses instead of commitments?
Have you experienced a relationship where everything is going great but then he starts pulling away (or ghosts)?
It is frustrating to feel like you’re “all in” and he’s only got his toes in the water. And when you talk to him about it, it’s very likely he isn’t even sure WHY he doesn’t want to commit. His excuses may feel flimsy and surface deep.
So you’re left to wonder.
Often these relationships end up with you feeling rejected. If this has happened more than once, you may even begin to wonder if something is wrong with YOU.
You may feel that you’re unworthy of the relationship you desire. That you need to CHANGE in order to have love.
You may wonder if you’re the problem.
If this goes on for long enough, you’ll likely stop putting yourself out there and meeting men. And if you do happen to go on a date, you’ll be so guarded that he won’t get to know the real you.
This is a common way women deal with rejection. The problem is, it takes them farther away from the very thing they desire most.
Let me tell you what is going on when you do this: you are making the situation MEAN SOMETHING ABOUT YOU.
You are personalizing why a guy pulls away, ghosts, or chooses not to pursue you.
You’re making it ABOUT YOU.
Here’s the truth: Not every man’s pulling away is a reflection of you.
When I started to truly understand this, my life honestly changed.
I stopped feeling emotionally attached to each date I went on.
I stopped blaming myself when things went south.
When I was ghosted, it still sucked, but I knew it wasn’t about me.
I started standing strong in my power and confidence instead of being blown over by the smallest rejection.
I want you to feel this shift in your own dating life. So I have a little LOVE HOMEWORK for you:
- Write down this thought in your journal, and expand on it with your own ideas and feelings: I AM WORTHY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND BELONGING. WHEN I AM REJECTED, IT IS ABOUT THEM.
- Do something to show ACCEPTANCE of yourself. Just because someone else rejects you, doesn’t mean you should start rejecting yourself! Quiet your inner critic. Write down your strengths and accomplishments. Take yourself on a date! Show yourself radical acceptance.
If you’re struggling with the acceptance piece, know you’re not alone, and I’m here to help. Get on my calendar so we can discuss some strategies to allow the radical self-acceptance that will make you glow from the inside out.
Is his lack of commitment about you?
Jan 4, 2023