Whether you’re newly dating someone, or in a relationship, there is value in knowing how to avoid power imbalances in relationships.
Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming about the new person you’ve started dating and thinking, “They’re just amazing in every way; they check all the boxes,” Or have you ever found yourself assuming you know more about them than you actually do? You’ve gone on a handful of great dates, and you start to think they are perfect for you.
They’re charming, funny, and oh-so-good-looking. Your heart does a happy dance, and you start to believe that you’ve found the epitome of the perfect partner. You can see them sliding so easily into your life.
But in reality, you don’t know much about them.
Well, my friend, you might just be guilty of putting your date or new partner on a pedestal. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there, but it’s time we talk about the negative effects this unconscious act can have on our relationship and with ourselves.
Avoid Power Imbalances in Relationships
Some signs to look out for:
Pedestalling: Placing someone on a pedestal creates an inherent power imbalance in the relationship. When we elevate our partner to an untouchable status, we inadvertently diminish our own value. We might find ourselves constantly seeking their approval and validation, and our happiness becomes dependent on their actions. This imbalance can breed resentment, insecurity, and an unhealthy dynamic that erodes the foundation of love and respect.
When you unconsciously place your date on a pedestal, this creates an inherent power imbalance in the relationship. When you elevate your date or new partner to an untouchable status, you inadvertently diminish your own value. You might find yourself second-guessing your own value and worth and wondering if you’re good enough for them.
This can lead to constantly seeking their approval and validation. Your happiness becomes dependent on their actions. You may find yourself getting anxious before dates, wondering what every word meant in a text, to worrying why it’s taken four hours for them to respond to a message. This imbalance can breed resentment, insecurity, and an unhealthy dynamic that erodes the foundation of love and respect.
Here are few other things to look out for:
Loss of Personal Identity:
You may lose sight of your own worth. You become so focused on their greatness that you forget about your own strengths and accomplishments. Your life starts revolving around theirs, and you lose your sense of self. Remember, a healthy relationship should be an equal partnership where both individuals are valued for who they are.
Communication Breakdown: Pedestal-placing often leads to a breakdown in communication. You become hesitant to express your true feelings, fears, or concerns because you don’t want to potentially ruin this good thing. You avoid confronting issues and discussing areas where you could improve as individuals and as a couple.
You fear that pointing out the things that are bothering you will shatter the connection and who you want him to think you are. But healthy relationships thrive on open and honest communication. It’s essential to create a safe space where both partners can be vulnerable and work through their imperfections together.
Pedestalling is one of the most common mistakes I see women do when it comes to dating and starting a new relationship.
It’s so subtle that you might not even realize you are doing it. But check in with yourself. Notice how your body responds when you think of them. Do you feel slightly insecure or feel you need to prove your value or fear that you’ll mess this up?
To delve into this further, sign up for a Let’s Talk Love Call or read other blog posts of mine such as: How to Deal With Overwhelming Emotions While Dating, How to Attract the Right Man, or Is This Holding You Back in Dating?
How to Avoid Power Imbalances in Relationships
Aug 2, 2023