Empower yourself – seems easy enough, right? But sometimes this is easier said than done, especially in a relationship.
Imagine a situation that makes you feel powerless. I clearly remember this feeling. Initially, it was a long time ago. It was a relationship that impacted me negatively and had a lasting ripple effect into my interaction with men.
I lost my sense of self, deferred to his decisions, and created a false sense of security.
I had given my power away.
It was right before my 29th birthday. I found myself SINGLE…again. And, boy did I resent him for that. I resented him for rejecting me, even though I knew deep down that the relationship should have ended long ago. I was paralyzed with shame for how much time I had wasted, and for what felt like starting over again.
What was wrong with me? I mean really, why couldn’t I get my shit together? What did I need to do to feel loved? Turns out I needed to empower myself.
I continued attracting the same type of men and had the same outcome. It wasn’t until some serious self-awareness work and connecting to my gratitude for the lessons learned that I was able to take responsibility for my role in repeating the process.
When we cling to the past and stay in the conversation or the decision by mulling over what was said, what should have been done, or what had happened… we play this over and over. We relive it and get triggered by a song, a smell, a favorite restaurant. The anger, hurt, and resentment comes flooding back.
You have to stop the Merry-Go-Round, because it is not doing anyone any good.
When we react to the past, we stop creating our future. We block ourselves from what we truly want and what we deserve. You will keep attracting the same-o’l-same o’l unless you give yourself permission in these three areas.
#1 Permission to let go of the hurt.
That’s right, let go of the hurt by letting go of the dialogue that is in your head. That Would’ve/Could’ve/Should’ve dialogue that plays like a skipping record. Abandon these words from your language, be aware when they sneak back in. You have more important work to focus on then a self-induced guilt trip. You have magic to make and a life to live. So stop it!
#2 Permission to take responsibility for your part.
It wasn’t until I acknowledged my contribution and choices that I was able to learn from the experience and be grateful for those lessons learned. It was in that moment when I was grateful that I stopped blaming myself. I stopped blaming him. And, an amazing thing happened, I started to see that I do create my life and that LOVE is for ME.
#3 Permission to be grateful for where you are right NOW.
Right HERE! In this moment.
It starts with gratitude and ends with gratitude. When we are grateful for this moment, this learning, this process, we open up to the possibilities that life can bring us joy, laughter, fullness, strength, love, connection, opportunities, partnerships and so much more.
GRATITUDE is one of the magical ingredients to free yourself from being stuck in that pattern and releasing the shame and guilt. It opens you up to being present to yourself and owning your power.
What has you stuck? Where is your hurt that keeps you on the same emotional roller coaster? Are you ready to own your power?
I know some of you have incredibly hurtful stories, ones that have damaged you physically, as well as, emotionally. Your story is not small, or insignificant. Your story is incredibly powerful, if you will step into your power and find yourself again.
You deserve to feel powerful and confident.
After all, YOU are Powerful!
Empower yourself – feel the earth below your feet, the floorboards, the concrete. If you are sitting, open your hands and touch the fabric or wood and truly come into your own powerful self. Create your life, your relationships, and your future from the NOW. Let go of the triggers from the past, recognize the learnings, and feel the gratitude.
If this is something you would like to delve into further, book a call with me here. You may enjoy some of my other blog posts: Are you feeling vulnerable? That’s a good thing!, How trauma effects relationships, and How to break relationship patterns.
Jan 24, 2023